Vintage Ads From The Past You Won’t Believe

Published

4 years ago

June 5, 2020

Money + Investing Staff

In this day and age, we are bombarded with advertisements. As we watch television, drive along the street, or even scroll through our phones, we see so many adverts that we don’t actively take notice of all of them.

But have you ever wondered what advertising was like in the past? Here are just a few vintage ads that will either make you cringe, or laugh out loud.

Youngest In The Business

At 11 months old, this baby supposedly loves the taste of the soda, and his parents are totally chill with the fact that their infant is drinking a sugary drink like that. After all, nothing does it like Seven-Up, right?

Best Things In Life

The concept of this vintage ad is totally bizarre, and we don’t even really know where to start.

Begin Early

In this ad, they opted instead for a baby and decided to just roll with it. From this, they created a slogan for men to begin their shaving journeys early.

The Chill Tonic

Many customers did not agree that the tonic really was “tasteless,” but it was used as a preventative malaria treatment for many years. Because of this, we guess their advert didn’t really need to make sense.

The Great Pain Cure

It’s amazing to think that a pain tonic would only cost 50 cents back in the day. If we were suffering from a toothache or headache, we can imagine that we would automatically reach for the Neuralgine.

The Carrot Man

We have so many questions when it comes to this vintage ad. Why does this carrot-man have only one arm? Why are the legs of this carrot-man pointing in the wrong directions? And why is there a carrot-man at all?

Going Native

Back in the day, companies had to try and persuade the straight-suited men to ditch their plain white shirts for something a little more “native.”

The Most Important

You might be wondering why you don’t have a Health Jolting Chair in your home, because apparently, it’s “the most important health mechanism ever produced.” Well, it may have been at the time, but it seems a little silly nowadays.

An Old Favorite

Although we don’t know whether the thought of the “fresh ketchup flavour” has our mouth-watering, we appreciate the sentiment. Let’s be honest; we don’t really need an advertisement to add Heinz Tomato Ketchup into our lives.

A Transformation

Thankfully, advertisements like this one allowed men back in the day to make an executive choice that would change their lives. After all, who doesn’t want to undergo a transformation from a dude into a stud?

The Chef?

Feminism has definitely come a long way since this vintage ad, and if you’re left reeling a little at this slogan – you’re not alone. Back in the day, gender stereotypes were all the rage in advertising.

Real Live Girls

Although this advert is completely factual in that dummies definitely don’t perspire, we can’t help but wonder what this has to do with actual “real life girls.”

Glowing With Health

The people in this advertisement look like they will wake up with superpowers, rather than waking up with a build-up of personality, magnetism, vitality, and health.

The Brain Tonic

Nowadays, the advertisements for this product normally involve hipsters in their beanies and denim jackets, or polar bears and big red trucks. But this hasn’t always been the case.

The Benefits

Televisions weren’t cheap, and not many people had them in their homes – so they needed to pull on the heartstrings of their target audience. How? They got their kids involved, of course!

Vitamins, Darling!

These women know how to cook, they know how to clean, and they know how to look as stunning as ever for their men when they come home from work. We don’t know how they do it! Please note the sarcasm.

Sugar Time

Retro ads like this one were actively encouraging people to eat a few spoonfuls of sugar each day to battle their fatigue and give them enough energy to shake their pom-poms, and get their cheer on.

Butter Is Slippery

Although butter is a huge part of our diet, and a popular ingredient in everyday foods, we think we’ve gone past the days of eating numerous blocks of butter in one sitting.

All About The Equipment

Of course, we all know that beautiful women and their assets have long since been used in advertising, and this Bell & Howell advertisement is no different.

Remember?

What’s with the floating heads? What’s with the odd looks on their faces? What’s with the melted chocolate? There’s so much going on; we don’t know where to look.

Utterly Wasted

Don’t you just hate it when you spend hours making sure that your hair is perfect, that your eyes are sparkling, and that your teeth are bright and clean for it all to be ruined by the fact that you didn’t put on deodorant?

The Bachelor’s Life

While this used to be society’s outlook on the world, we’re happy to note that women do now leave the kitchen, and they’re actually taking over the world one girl boss business at a time.

Just Remember That

If we ever needed a reminder to have a shower in the morning, this is certainly it.

Happy, Pretty, And Pregnant

We didn’t realize just how much we needed to know that Jean is now happy, pretty, and pregnant until we read this. Because really, what more could a pregnant woman want?

For You, With Love

This is the kind of advert that would inspire parents and children alike, while also letting kids just be kids. So pure.

Easy To Dye

If you worked for a dye company, how would you market your products? There’s a high chance that you wouldn’t go for this advert because that’s just weird.

Ooh, Santa

Of course, we’ve never really thought of Santa Claus in “that” way before, it seems as though anything is possible if he has shiny boots. At least, that’s what this advert has taught us.

Quality You Can Trust

In an effort to entice people to buy their soda, this company tried to pass off the idea that Coca-Cola was really good for people. Just like fruits and veggies, they wanted Coca-Cola to be a part of everyday life.

Hardly Ever

This dish soap is one of the most famous dish soaps in the United Kingdom, but this company still needed to persuade their customers that theirs was the best.

The New Way

Despite the fact that this product now has a cult following, they have still advertised their product over the years.

The Colonel

The Colonel doesn’t really need that much of an introduction, because his Kentucky Fried Chicken has become legendary. We do have to question his advertising back in the day, though.

Giving Life A Lift

While the pigtails and the hat on this young girl are something special, her face is something else entirely. In fact, it’s really creeping us out.

No Skins!

Have you ever wanted to know how you can tell the difference between a skinless weiner and a weiner with skin? Well, this advertisement tells you how!

Welcome To Someday

We’d love to know when this advertisement was released, and when they thought people would be living in stark white houses, with white books, white snail ornaments, white couches, and white clothing.

A Better Start In Life

Coca-Cola was really going for it, weren’t they? In an effort not to leave anyone out of their customer base, this brand decided to reach out to those who couldn’t even speak for themselves.

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